Phish and Phlattery
by CopyNinAstral
Summary: Iruka-centric drabbles. No set timeline, just silliness and day-to-day life of Umino Iruka. Some IruKaka references. Rated T for implications and some language, nothing really all that bad. Enjoy!
1. Why Sensei!

**Title: Phish and Phlattery: Iruka-Centric Drabbles.  
Author: **CopyNinAstral (~Astral~)**  
Fandom/Pairing: **Naruto. Kakashi and Iruka.**  
Rating: **K+ ((Just for the implications~))**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

**Author's Note:** I know. Really, I do. I'm an awful updater, mainly because my writing style has changed so much between when I first started and now. Please know that I already have four more of these chapters lined up and finished, and I will be updating them weekly as best I can. If you're still reading, you are awesome, and thank you. Really, thank you. :)_  
_

**WHY SENSEI!  
**

Konohamaru was grinning from ear to ear. His classmates kept shooting him looks. That little Hyuuga girl kept frowning disapprovingly at him, though she frowned disapprovingly at pretty much everybody, except for Iruka-sensei, of course.

Moegi was smiling prettily at him, hoping that that expression meant something that would let them off the hook for last night's homework, because _Haku's Salon Take Over_ was on last night. And she had followed all the previous four seasons religiously, so there was no way she missed last night's. Especially when it took place in Rain Country, where her mother's family was from.

But, Konohamaru kept grinning. The class was getting restless, but he held stock still, the perfect exemplar of a student.

About five minutes after the bell had rung, Moegi realized that Iruka-sensei hadn't shown up yet. She stopped looking at Konohamaru—because to be quite frank, his posing was starting to creep her out—and glanced at Hanabi, who was looking around subtly but nervously. Moegi turned around in her seat to face Udon. He sniffled and popped a finger into his mouth. She was glad she had given him hand sanitizer for his birthday, but she was even gladder that she had gotten herself a small bottle as well.

"What?" He asked congestedly.

"Where's Iruka-sensei?" She hissed quietly. Udon shrugged. Moegi rolled her eyes and turned back around.

Ten minutes after the bell had rung, Iruka Umino was _still_ a no-show.

This was _unheard_ of.

At her desk in the front, Hanabi's eyes were watering. She refused to cry! It showed weakness, and she was _not_ after all, _Hinata_. She rubbed her eyes, and turned to ask Ayaka, "Do you think Iruka-sensei is okay?"

Ayaka was currently busy biting her nails, not that she really had any left by this point in time. But she courteously stopped and addressed Hanabi, "I hope so."

Hanabi nodded. Friends were good things, she supposed.

* * *

A good twenty minutes after the bell had rung, there was a group in the back who had pulled out a deck of cards from a backpack and was playing Bull Shit—to hone their ninja skills if anyone (teacher-wise) were to ask. They had pushed the desks out of the way to accommodate for more students.

Hanabi was writing her Last Will and Testament on a sheet of loose-leaf, and Moegi and Ayaka were discussing the final results of _Fire Country Idol_. Udon was picking his nose again. And doing other things but not when people were watching….he hoped.

Konohamaru was still grinning. And every three or so minutes he would chuckle lightly to himself.

* * *

Iruka groaned as he neared his classroom door. Never! Never late! That was his philosophy for his students, not so much as to instill good behavior into them, but more for his own survival. He looked at the strip of glass on the door before him. _At least they can't see me coming…._ He noted as he watched the blue paint drip down the other side. A lesser man would have whimpered.

He turned the knob and, letting go, he kicked open the door.

Confetti fell to the ground along with a rather heavy paper kunai the length of his arm. Iruka waited for everything to fall and stepped over it all to his desk. _Don't look, don't look._

"Why Sensei, you're late!" Konohamaru said brightly, hands clasped upon his desk. He smiled widely.

"What're you gonna do? _Fire me?_" Iruka hissed, eyes darkening as he shoved all that he carried onto his desk and scrubbed a hand down his face. The class shivered. Collectively. Iruka slowly closed and opened his eyes. There were no cards, no blue paint, no confetti, no tastefully arranged flowers, and all the students were secure in their seats, each before a desk.

Growling to himself, Iruka broke four pieces of chalk as he diagramed the chakra-flow charts on the blackboard. Internally, he contemplated his complete list of revenge against two particular ninja, each at the opposite end of the spectrum.

One Academy Student, _who shall remain nameless_.

And one particularly randy Ex-Anbu Jounin, _who shall be sleeping on the couch for the next eternity._


	2. But Sensei!

**Title: Phish and Phlattery: Dolphin-Centric Drabbles.  
Author: **CopyNinAstral (~Astral~)**  
Fandom/Pairing: **Naruto. Kakashi and Iruka.**  
Rating: **T, language, for now.**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

**BUT SENSEI!**

"Listen, Iruka-Sensei," Kakashi began, hand automatically scratching the back of his neck. "The way I said it, that's not what I meant."

Iruka raised an eyebrow, but he kept his eyes down as he continued to munch on his tempura. Kakashi winced, things were most certainly _not_ going as planned.

"What I meant was…." Kakashi suddenly became much too engrossed in the way Iruka was eating to bother finishing his thought, let alone his sentence.

Iruka lifted the tempura shrimp to his lips and blew on it gently before flicking his pink tongue out to test the hotness, and then deeming it cool enough, he popped it into his mouth and chewed contentedly. A smile crept across his lips as he savored the taste before looking up to see why it was his companion had stopped mid-sentence.

"Kakashi-Sensei?" Iruka asked him, concern tainting his voice. Even though Kakashi's mask was still firmly in place, it was quite evident that the older man was flushed. Iruka almost gave into his urge to lean across the table and feel the man's forehead beneath his hite-ate. But there were so many emotions present on Kakashi's face, or what have you of it.

Maybe that shock had something to do with the food? There was also a bit of what appeared to be disgust….Iruka fidgeted nervously praying that last emotion was all the tempura and not at all him.

"Kakashi-Sensei?" He asked again.

The man stared at him as if completely lost in a trance. Iruka was kneeling by his side almost immediately. "Kakashi-san, are you all right?"

The silver-haired man flinched as he noticed Iruka kneeling by his elbow. "I-Iruka-Sensei!" He stuttered startled. "What are you doing?" Apparently there was a limited amount of air left in the world, and he was getting none of it.

"You looked like you were going to be ill. Are you okay? Would you like to leave?" Iruka asked, placing his hand softly onto Kakashi's forearm. He turned to the side, leaving his hand on Kakashi. "Waiter, could we get boxes for these, please?"

The waiter nodded, smiling at Iruka courteously.

"You just got off a mission, maybe we should have postponed this, er, dinner." Iruka began, fully ready to launch into a soft scolding about how important it was that you got rest after a mission so that you could heal and be ready for anything that might happen. Unfortunately, the only thought currently occupying the Copy Nin's head was why Iruka had paused before 'dinner.' He smiled.

Maybe he wasn't in so much trouble after all.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thank you harlanbabe~ :3


	3. Tell me, Sensei!

**Title: Phish and Phlattery: Dolphin-Centric Drabbles.  
Author: **CopyNinAstral (~Astral~)**  
Fandom/Pairing: **Naruto. Kakashi and Iruka.**  
Rating: **T, language, for now.**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto. If I did, Sasuke and Naruto would have already freaking battled it out.

**TELL ME, SENSEI!  
**

_Five…four…three…two…one…_ Anko opened the door to her apartment and reached out deliberately slowly in order to grab her mail, which she had just so recently replaced on the doormat.

The door to her left creaked open, but no one came out. Anko smiled to herself, her neighbor was always so _precise_. It made it so easy to chalk out his routine. She could hear him yawning as he stretched in the doorframe. Even on a Saturday, he was like clockwork. So was she today, unfortunately, but that had to do with this crazy new schedule that Tsunade had her on, which the Hokage had the _audacity_ to call _normal_.

Iruka finished stretching and stepped out to pick up his mail that was sitting pleasantly on his doormat. He frowned. There was a rather imposing box that was done up in some sort of half-assed ribbon contraption amidst the letters and bills.

"Oh, good morning, Iruka!" Anko called out cheerily, smiling at the sensei's completely unexpected presence. "Fancy seeing you this early."

Iruka's eyes widened comically as he tried to hide the box as swiftly and discreetly as possible. He dropped everything.

"A-Anko," his eyes were back to normal, though he stumbled over re-collecting his mail and had a bit of trouble reaching his neighbor's eyes. "Ho-how are you today?"

She flicked a hand behind her, quickly unlocking the door before she brought herself and her mail over towards Iruka. She grinned as she felt him tense nervously.

"Mm, pretty good. Bit hungry though, you know." She said with quite a heavy trace of implication.

"O-oh." Iruka frowned, then realized how close she was and smiled. A blush tainted his cheeks as he gathered his mail and motioned her inside, "Would you like some breakfast?"

"Yes," she said cheekily. "We'll start with that."

**Author's Note:** Sorry it's so short. This is just how I picture Anko~ Anywho. Much love to Lonestar, because she puts up with me. :)


	4. Go back to sleep, Sensei

**Title: Phish and Phlattery: Dolphin-Centric Drabbles.  
Author: **CopyNinAstral (~Astral~)**  
Fandom/Pairing: **Naruto. Kakashi and Iruka.**  
Rating: **K.**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

**GO BACK TO SLEEP, SENSEI.**

Neji frowned, rubbing his shoulder as though that would be all it would take to get it back in place, or, you know, back in his shoulder socket. That'd be nice. He groaned. He just wanted to go home. He'd finished the stupid mission—point in fact: he was _never_ having kids, regardless of Fate; he was exhausted, he hadn't had much of a breakfast thanks to Lee's ear-shattering entrance that morning. (Neji had still been wearing his Panda slippers. He had made Lee promise on pain of death that this fact would never leave the Hyuuga Complex.) And, it was currently past the middle of the night.

It was dark.

He was injured.

And, he was hungry.

When he heard the first few musical notes, Neji stopped dead in his tracks. He blinked, realized he _really_ didn't want to know, shook his long hair back, and began to walk again.

He made it four feet before he stopped again.

"Dun dun DAH DAH dun dun duh-duh-DUNH…."

Neji watched disbelievingly as Kakashi entered stage left in a stealth mode that had _Naruto_ written all over it. His mouth dropped open. Neji watched as Kakashi edged around the corner, continuing….

"Deedle-dooooowww, deedle-dooooowww, dun dun DAH DAH dun dun…."

_Were those _daisies_?! _Neji wondered at the bundle of flowers in Kakashi's hand. He found himself quite incapable of moving at this point. Instead, he watched as Kakashi leapt up the side of an apartment building and edged near the window. The music was softer now, and Neji could almost pretend it wasn't happening….almost.

Kakashi slipped in through the window of the fourth floor, apartment 22B. His mouth morphed into a grin as he watched the slow rise and fall of his next victim's chest in the darkness.

"Mnngmn," Iruka mumbled as he turned over in the bed, pulling the thin sheet under his chin and exposing his feet. The jounnin crept closer and perched on the chair beside Iruka's bed. He turned and placed the bouquet of flowers on top of Iruka's dresser, a small note attached.

"'Kashi?" Iruka murmured indistinctly, his eyebrows furrowing above closed eyes.

"Shh, love. I'm back. Go back to sleep, sensei." He brushed a lock of brown hair out of Iruka's eyes and grinned. "Told you that mission wasn't too hard."

**Author's Note: **Sorry about the late update, it's exam week and I _totally_ forgot about my story....luckily I've got one more exam tomorrow and then I am FINISHED. :D Thank you all for your kind reviews! I will try to reply to them next week~


	5. Slow down, Sensei!

**Title: Phish and Phlattery: Dolphin-Centric Drabbles.  
Author: **CopyNinAstral (~Astral~)**  
Fandom/Pairing: **Naruto. Kakashi and Iruka.**  
Rating: **T, implications, for now.**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

**SLOW DOWN, SENSEI!  
**

It had started as a normal Saturday, the sleeping in, warm sun, catnap type of day. If it had been up to Kakashi, they would have spent the entire day beneath the sheets. However, the bright, almost-summer days had been calling to Iruka throughout classes all week, and there was no way he was going to pass it up now.

Kakashi had growled rather impressively when Iruka had pulled open the blinds. There was no reason to sleep in! That had been Iruka's philosophy....until he'd seen his lover's face; the look in Kakashi's eyes gave new material to be considered, Iruka had decided. Iruka had smiled cheerfully and tucked Kakashi in, having to avoid been coerced back into bed through the use of a rather impressive shadow clone. Iruka had headed toward the bathroom and then the kitchen.

Kakashi had simpered.

Until he smelled the sweet scent of freshly ground coffee and heard the crackling sound of scrambled eggs. _That_ opened his eyes. And the sun closed them again; he groaned. He could hear Iruka laughing in the other room.

"Oh, just get up already. Breakfast's nearly ready, and I have plans for today!"

Yawning briefly, Kakashi grumbled before rolling himself into a seated position. He stretched, yawning again. Rubbing his eyes, he stood up and tossed the sheets back onto the bed. Kakashi yanked a pair of jeans from their haphazard position on a chair and pulled them on. Foregoing a shirt, he slipped into the kitchen.

His stealth was ruined by his outburst of laughter. He was still laughing, doubled over, when Iruka turned toward him holding a spatula. Iruka smiled, "Yeah, yeah. Do your worst." Before he turned back to the pan and flicked off the stove.

"I didn't think Naruto was serious, you know." Kakashi said behind his laughter as he grabbed two plates and Iruka piled them full of eggs and toast. Iruka frowned, his eyebrows going together as he digested the information. He put the pan and spatula in the sink, filling them with water for later, and Kakashi put breakfast on the table, taking a seat there too.

"Wait, are you saying that this," Iruka gestured to the bright orange and blue apron he was wearing. "This is _your_ fault?"

Kakashi nearly choked as he chuckled with his mouth full of eggs. _What a way to go..._ Iruka glared at him, "You realize that this is a complete monstrosity, right? I mean, who the hell even puts these two colors together?" He pulled the apron off and hung the checker-print eyesore on the back of his chair.

"He wanted something that connected the two of you." Kakashi said, his eyes full of glee.

"Well, _thanks_." Iruka gulped down most of his coffee, feeling his brain return from the land of the nonfunctional.

"Anytime."

* * *

"This is _not_ what I agreed to, Iruka."

"Look, trust me, it'll be fun, and besides you can make fun of me, since I'm awful at it." Iruka grinned, paying the man for their rental blades.

Kakashi looked at him.

"Don't give me that look. You have to learn to try new things. And stop looking around, Gai-sensei is on a mission, okay?" He leaned closer to Kakashi, "I checked for you." Iruka laughed, pulling Kakashi over to a park bench.

The jounin looked around, Iruka was right though. Gai-sensei and his challenges had crossed his mind, and that would be a disaster. He sat down next to Iruka.

"Fine," he said as he pulled off his sneakers and looked to Iruka. "You win then."

Iruka grinned. "Oh, come on, don't be so melodramatic. You'll enjoy it." He finished tying his blades on and tucked his shoes into the bag he had brought. He looked to Kakashi again, and the silver-haired man raised his solitary eyebrow. "You can't put them on, can you?"

"Maa, I figured you'd be better at it and all." He smiled, crescent-eyed.

"Yeah, yeah," the chunin said before kneeling and helping Kakashi into his skates. "And don't even think about—"

"You know, you're in a great position, _sensei_." Kakashi said, leaning forward enough to whisper it into the chunin's ear.

"Saying anything perverted." Iruka finished and glared at Kakashi, making the laces nice and tight. Kakashi chuckled.

Iruka stood up, balancing somewhat precariously on the blades. He reached out, grabbing Kakashi's shoulder in order to steady himself.

"I'm not feeling the highest level of trust here, you know."

Iruka glared at him, and shifted his hand down to Kakashi's own hand. "Just give it a try, okay? Now, see if you can stand up." The jouni held onto Iruka's hand tightly and attempted to stand up.

He sat right back down.

Iruka chuckled, trying to hide it behind his free hand. Kakashi looked at him.

"Sorry, love. All right, this time for sure." Iruka steadied himself and pulled Kakashi straight up. Kakashi's arms flailed momentarily before descending with a death grip around Iruka's waist.

Iruka laughed as he looked down at Kakashi, who's face was buried in the chunin's torso, "_Now_, who's in the compromising position, _sensei_?"

**Author's Note: **This one is longer, but it ends abruptly, sorry~ Ah, the life of a drabble, long or short and _still_ always over before you expect it. :3


	6. See, it's educational too, Sensei

**Title: Phish and Phlattery: Dolphin-Centric Drabbles.  
Author: **CopyNinAstral (~Astral~)**  
Fandom/Pairing: **Naruto. Kakashi and Iruka.**  
Rating: **K+, reading material**.  
Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

**See, It's Educational Too, Sensei.**

_That's it!_ Iruka had been lying there. Awake. All night.

He could hear Kakashi's easy breathing on his right, and damn if the man could fall into a deep sleep whenever he wanted to. Iruka wasn't going to fault him for that....but right now, he wished he had that power.

4:06. Iruka groaned; he hated those damn bright red numbers. There was no way he was going to make it through classes tomorrow. Even if he did, the mission room was definitely a no go.

Sitting up, Iruka yawned, scratching the back of his head and looking around the room. _Maybe a book to put me to sleep?_ He wondered, eyes cast down at the stack of books teetering on the bedside table.

_Genjutsu Tactics_, _Lessons in Field Exercises_, _Teacher's Guide to DYI, Blood Lines and You_, _Icha Icha Paradisu_, _How to Train Stubborn Nin-kin_....Iruka blinked and backed up a title. He should have known better than to trust his mind when it asked, 'Hey, what's the harm?'

Fifteen minutes later, Iruka noticed that Kakashi was shaking. Worried, the sensei put down his light reading of _Icha Icha Paradisu _— not that he would ever admit it, but Jiraiya actually did have quite the author's voice — and touched his hand to Kakashi's forehead. He brushed back some of the silver hair, thinking maybe the man had a fever or was on the verge of a nightmare.

"Kakashi? Love, are you awake? You're shaking, are you okay?" Iruka leaned closer and put his hand on the jounin's shoulder....

Only to finally see the wide smile on Kakashi's face as the jounin lost it and burst out laughing.

Iruka looked at him, shocked.

Kakashi, however, continued laughing, thankful for not having to suppress his giggle fit any longer. "O-oh, _man_! Iruka, I swear—ahahahaha! If only your students could see you now!"

Iruka looked at him, confused for a moment, before he looked back at the book he had been reading.

"_Don't read that garbage in my house!_" Kakashi mimicked Iruka playfully, still trying to talk over his laughter.

"Shut up, you ass!"

**Author's Note: **Sorry, I sort of forgot the day of the week....uhm. Forgive me? Oh! And thank you** Sonar** for your lovely reviews!~ See you all next week.


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